My solution to save the world!

Well maybe not the world but I'm guessing my awesome idea would rid us of around 83.6% of marital conflict, based on my calculation which has no scientific resonance what so ever, so sit back read on and discover how we could all enjoy a happier, healthier,more laughable world.
(Alright, I always like to start a blog post with an incredibly long grammatically erroneous run-on sentence so check that!)

I would like you to conjure up in your mind the last argument with your significant other? Maybe it was this morning, last night or a distant 28 days away (if the latter, congratulations but I feel a storm a brewing in your future). Possibly you are arguing with him or her right now while reading this. Sometimes I argue with Lee without him even here (it guarantees that I win and then I can move on without him even realizing that I was angry about something-tune into my next post on multiple personalities, my favorite trait).

Ok, I'll admit, Lee and I delight in a good "discuss and debate" conversation every so often however I can pin point a few days of the month where our "discussions" leave the description of "delight" and are down right irritating. And although it pains me to confess this, it has more to do with my physiological state than with what I am actually picking a fight about. Occasionally I can muster up all the courage in my being and graciously remind him that things are about to get a little rough so he can take it in stride but that still doesn't do much to tame my inner wrestle with the hormonal imbalance.

I'm guessing most household relationships work this way, maybe you have a better game plan in dealing with it but I would propose a solution that works to the benefit of all mankind, male and female alike!

The Women's Sanity Sanctuary. For 5 days of your special time you get to go to a local women's retreat. So, instead of irritability, bloating and bickering you can bask in pool side and spa treatment relaxation. You choose what you want to do, sit by yourself on a window seat and enjoy the quiet sound of your own breathing, curl up in a ball in the luxurious 5000 count, lightly scented sheets, or hit the state of the art gym if you are up to it, it's all about you and that's what matters.

Is it fair? Why of course it is! What does the man get out of the deal? I think it is obvious, he get's to bypass the worst week of his month! It's clearly a win-win for everyone.

reaping what you sow...our garden

This is what became of our garden....at least someone partook of it (the dried, dead pellets that never made it past seedlings) Maybe next year we will be more fruitful. :)

Raspberries

Being a stay at home mom has also meant being the go-to babysitter for those who have out side of the home jobs. It seems I am always the honorary mother to other women's children. I have been watching Cole (6 yrs. old) and his little brother, Eli (2.5 yrs. old) for the past 1 1/2 years or so, on a very part-time basis.

Yesterday Cole, being older and bigger, figured he could push Zane around and tell him what to do. I was downstairs with Tate and I hear this conversation after hearing some laughing "Zane, go tell your mom that I farted" Zane laughed and said "Noooo.." Cole persisted, "Zane, go tell your mom that I farted, go do it! Zane you do what I say!" I can only imagine the look on Zane's face but what I heard was him doing a raspberry, then he said "let's go downstairs and watch Top Shot". Cole's reply was "don't spit at me, I'm telling your mom." Feet pounding down the stairs "Miss Amy, Zane spit at me." Interesting, how would you respond in this situation? I reported to Cole the conversation that I had just heard and told him I didn't think it was very nice to try to get a smaller boy to do something he didn't want to do and that I was happy that Zane didn't do something just because he told him to do it. I'm glad Zane isn't a follower and can stand his ground when he doesn't feel comfortable with something. He did not get in trouble for "spitting" at Cole but he did get praised for not doing something he knew was just silly.

Mini-social outings...

Waiting for Toy Story 3 to start. Kendall, to the right of Zane, was a little jealous that there was another girl there. Lee told Zane not to choose sides but to play both. :)

So many little stories, so little time...

The other day we walked out the door at aproximately 8:32 am, we were greeted by the sun rising in the east and realitive humidity that was so horribly, humid (for lack of a better word) that I felt like I was begining the 26th mile of a marathon, actually I have never ran a marathon but I imagine you sweat pretty badly. At this point I rethought my decision to go to the park in this sort of hellish weather but I'm glad we did.

We were the first ones to arrive, a little while after another little boy and his mom dared to endure the sauna like conditions as well. Zane immediately started to try to get the other boy's attention, I said, "Zane, why don't you ask him his name?" The other little boy thought I was talking to him and said to Zane "What's your name?" Zane replied "My name is Zane and my number is 4." The little boy didn't quite catch his name and asked for a repeat, Zane responds "Zane- Z-A-N-E". Zane then asks the little boy his name, "My name is Eduard, E-D-U-A-R-D". I love it! I think the next time I introduce myself to someone I will say "Hi, my name is Amy, A-M-Y- and my number is 30." Just to see the response, it probably won't go near as well as when two little boys, numbers 4 and 5 do it.

This "number 4" stage is a funny one. Zane can obviously dress himself and has now taken on the task of doing his own hair. Sunday he went into the bathroom, spiked his hair with the small travel sized bottle of hairspray, then he came out and spiked Tate's hair. We got to church and he took out the hairspray that was, unknown to me, in his pocket, because he was also going to spike Lee's hair, (hmmm...good luck). I was out in the hall with Tate and Lee was sitting with Zane by my parents, they eventually had to take the hairspray away.

Pair the hairstyling fetish with his strong wardrobe preferences (the boy WILL NOT wear a shirt with a bear on it anymore, no matter how hard I try to coax him- a good time to point out that I have a few NWOT or EUC babygap shirts up for bid if you are interested) and you may start to wonder about this kid. Not me, all of his stuffed animals are now girls and his "friends" (the imaginary ones) are not just his "friends" but his "girlfriends". And, on our way to meet one of his special girl friends ( a real one) to see Toy Story 3 he said "mom, I think Kendall will have her toenails painted." I said, "yeah, I bet she will. Do you like it when she has her toenails painted?" He says "Yes, and her fingernails!". So, he likes girls, and girly girls at that. There is nothing wrong with a well dressed, cute, athletic boy. :) Oh, and his new name is "Forcer", which is pretty masculine I think. :)

Prodigy kids...

My confession, I'll admit to being "that mom", yes the one who really does think that my kid is better than yours. I'm sure it's horribly obnoxious but I just can't help that both of my children are prodigy kids, the stars just all aligned perfectly for them I guess. :)

Ok, I'm not THAT bad. But Lee and I do joke that I am always accusing my kids as being developmentally advanced, Tate will do something and I now just say, "wow, most kids don't do that until they are at least 10 yrs. old". It's probably not so much that my kids are advanced but that I am amazed at the quick development of the little human beings.
I, however, would like to share a few instances that Tate has demonstrated superiority over your kid. (I really hope that I don't have to add a written chuckle and that the reader knows that I am chuckling as I write such absurdities.)

Today Tate grabbed the plug to the vacuum and decided to try to put it in the outlet. ( I realize that this example could also be posted in my previous post "Parenting Skills..." because what good parent lets their 10 month old even attempt to plug something into an outlet...). Although, he didn't succeed in actually fixating the plug into the outlet, I thought it extremely astute of him to know where the plug should go.

Later that day, Zane and Tate got into a little argument, Zane took a track piece out of Tate's hand, Tate screamed at Zane, Zane screamed at Tate and I told Zane to go to his room (he had been warned that if he took another thing out of Tate's hand there would be a consequence). So, Zane was in his room and I was at the table and Tate crawled over and sat close to my chair. I looked down at him and he had the same track in his mouth. He looked up at me as if he was thinking "uh, I'm not suppose to have this" then it's as if his mind, like speed lightening, came up with a plan. He looks down, takes the track out of his mouth and, with a look of astonishment and disgust, that the track was in his mouth, begins to "reprimand" the track for ending up in his possession, and then he throws it down on the floor. Oh my, what a funny little boy. I have to give him credit though, most kids don't use that kind of manipulation until they are at least 10 yrs. old.

Parenting skills...

(Yes, the above photos is my four year old with a very real hammer and very sharp nails-some may think that's not the best afternoon activity for a four year old but he came up with the idea on his own and it has been occupying him for the better part of an hour-We are just testing out that tetanus vaccination.)

As of late I have been self-examining and questioning my parenting skills, or techniques rather. After Zane received his 5 vaccinations he also received 3 super awesome blue camo band-aids. The band-aids were so cool he didn't want to take them off. I don't really blame him, who really likes the feeling of an adhesive being ripped from your skin, I know I don't. I suggested that he get in the bath so that the warm water would loosen them up a little. He still protested. This was day two of the band-aids and I didn't think it was very sanitary for him to have those bacteria breeding grounds sitting so close to his injection sites. So I say to him, "Zane, we have to get those band-aids off or you might get and infection and they will have to cut off your leg". Really? To a four year old. I really didn't think much of what I said until, a few days later, he runs up to Lee and announces "Daddy I got my band-aids off so they won't have to cut off my leg!". Lovely.
I'm currently reading a book about effective ways to communicate with kids, I'm thinking the above scare tactic won't be on the list of suggestions.

what's on the menu?

Tate is a funny eater. He had terrible reflux and has enjoyed a 90% liquid diet up until a month or so ago. Although he frowned upon rice, apples, bananas, etc. he did however have a favorite solid which remains at the top of his list, paper! Ummm so yummy and non-digestible (is that a word?) paper (actually I'm not sure how easily digested paper is but I'm going out on a limb and thinking it probably isn't the most digestive friendly consumable or non-consumable for that matter).

We have just discovered another one of his pallets preferences, bubbles. He just can't get enough of them, possibly the effects of the bubbles will help the paper along.